Call Me.

*Originally published 10/2/2014

There is an energy that exists within all of us. Call it what you will- chi/qi, intuition, instinct, life, love- whatever name you give it, it is the breath that breathes us, the life-force that lives through us, the energy that calls us towards what feels right, and away from what feels wrong. It was what called animals to higher ground before tsunamis, what birds use to navigate their flights south in the winter, what guides butterfly migrations, and draws animals towards food and water.

Most of us ignore this subtle, delicate energy. It’s easy to. Especially with all of the distractions we have in our lives these days. Jobs, social lives, technology! We’ve strayed so far from our animal nature that we forget that we are, in fact, animals. And that we do, in fact, have this energy within us.

I’ve felt, in extraordinary ways lately, so tapped into this energy. A big part of that has to do with the fact that I have been doing a lot of things that scare me lately. I’ve been learning so much about my fears and how to move through them. Because unless our lives are in immediate danger, fear is just a contrived idea. And when we let these contrived ideas hold us hostage, we are denying ourselves the experience of actually living our lives, and knowing what it feels like to let that energy guide us.

It is an indescribable feeling, but an incredible one.

Acting in spite of my fears has helped me to eliminate fears in areas where I was once debilitated by them.

I speak of the animals because when I see the cat get up and walk across the yard and stop to look around, or notice the southbound geese in the sky, I realize that these animals don’t think about what they are doing. They don’t make “logical decisions”. They don’t make decisions at all! The cat didn’t come up with a plan of how and why it was going to get up and walk across the yard. It wasn’t strategizing on anything as it stopped to look around. It just moved where it felt pulled… by this energy. Just as the birds and the butterflies and the elephants and the orangutans. They just follow this flow of energy that guides them to where they need to go. They have full trust in this, so much so that they don’t have to do anything to have this trust, they just live in it.

We humans have to work so hard to find this trust in ourselves. And the funny things is, we already have it all within us. We just have to get out of our own ways. It’s not about obtaining this energy or trust. It’s about eliminating all of our shit in order to access it where it already dwells inside.

I have learned recently, that the key to “achieving” this is to move through fear. Joseph Campbell famously said, “the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

I’ve seen and heard that quote hundreds of times, and it always strikes a “Yeah! Right on!” kind of reaction. We all know there’s truth to that statement, but most of us are looking at that truth from afar rather than experiencing it. And my god- I am really experiencing that first hand these days. Entering the caves I fear, some of which I have feared my entire life, feels so. fucking. Right.

And now that I have been taking so many of these leaps, towards unknown places- in the direction I feel pulled, and entering scary caves in which I feel drawn, I settle into this space of trust- in myself and in the Universe. I’m finding all sorts of treasures and treasure maps that lead me onward, towards grand adventures and curious odysseys- my own migration, where I may spread my wings and fly.

I let this energy guide me. I slowly, gently tune into its flow. It’s what calls me to write, when I feel the words being pulled from me, to the page. It’s what calls me to quit my job when I know it’s no longer right for me. It’s what calls me to speak my truth when I know I need to. It’s what calls me to send messages of hope and love and inspiration, so that each message may reach who it needs to when it needs to. It’s what calls me.

~Maktub~

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